Holding On to Get There...

Being a postgraduate student, I've retrieved my writing skills. I was a diary person when I was a medical student as I found relief by that methods of feeling ventilation. I still keep those diaries as for my later years reflection and memory (wonder if that can be future document analysis project 😎). 

As I'm currently indulging in qualitative research, I need to polish that skills I left to more enriched and inviting ones. One of the main goal of a postgraduate student is to be graduated on time (GOT). The challenges and obstacles faced are much way complex and troublesome as compared to undergraduate as life become more complicated to most of us as we grow older 😣.

When we were left to our own timeline and schedule, our focus may be side track towards many options and temptations. Each time we want to start doing what we are supposed to do as a student, we may don't have the mood of doing it or prioritize our personal matters instead. We've made list of checklists but jumbled up the "supposed to be done" with "want to be done", which later ends up with "nothing being done".

I found that in this journey of postgraduate study really made myself to ponder and reflect my inner-self. It is important to have a good company and friends, which can always remind and encourage you to hold on and persistent in pursuing your aim goal: GOT. But most important of all is to reconnect and have a good remembrance of your Creator, as vital as the oxygen that we breathe. Sometimes we may be too dependent on human - "what if they say..." "what if they do..." "what if they think...". We will be chasing the dateline(s) and just get the things done half-heartedly. Then we should recall and remind ourselves on what is our main intention in pursuing the postgraduate at the first place. Is it just for the sake of upgrading your career and salary? proving your friends or previous bosses that you are better? These are all only worldly intentions, which we may achieve but won't sustain...as our life beyond this world.

As I drove back yesterday in the midst of traffick jams with sunset in front...the panorama strike me as if picturing my life at present. I may be trailing now, but I can see the rays of lights ahead of me as others also pursuing. I remembered what I've gained from recent Yasmin Mogahed talk: 

Never loss hope in Allah swt. Trust His Mercy, He is The most Merciful and Compassionate to the mankinds...

May Allah guide and blessed me (and all the postgraduate students) with persistence and steadfastness to hold on in this journey of life as I'm getting there....

Istikharah for those who are Indecisive

Indecisive

I’m tired of running, running away from facing the reality…

I’m tired of dreaming, coz life isn’t a fairytale…

Why must be so complicated or am I the one that making it more complicated?

Should I wait? Should I quit? Should I proceed?

Each step now is crucial

Either I’ve missed the boat or he’ll miss the boat as I may take another boat waiting

True that I can’t keep my options open anymore

But rather being alone than cause any injury to someone’s precious heart

O Allah, guide me to the right decision for me who is severely indecisive…

Istikhaarah: The Guidance Prayer

The description of Salaat-ul-Istikhaarah was narrated by Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allah as-Salami (may Allah be pleased with him) who said,
The Messenger of Allah used to teach his companions to make istikhaarah in all things, just as he used to teach them surahs from the Qur’an.
He said, ‘If any one of you is concerned about a decision he has to make, then let him pray two rak’ahs of non-obligatory prayer, then say (meaning):



‘O Allah, I seek Your guidance [in making a choice] by virtue of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your great bounty.
You have power, I have none. And You know, I know not. You are the Knower of hidden things.
O Allah, if in Your knowledge, this matter (then it should be mentioned by name) is good for me both in this world and in the Hereafter (or: in my religion, my livelihood and my affairs), then ordain it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me.
And if in Your knowledge it is bad for me and for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs (or: for me both in this world and the next), then turn me away from it, [and turn it away from me], and ordain for me the good wherever it may be and make me pleased with it.”

The Prophet added that then the person should mention his need. [Saheeh al-Bukhaari]

Salaat-ul-Istikhaarah is for every Muslims to practice in making right decisions. It’s a way for all of us to implore Allah for divine guidance and mercy. It is yet another invaluable resource from Allah to keep us on the straight path of Siraat-ul-Mustaqeem. 

Put your trust in Allâh, certainly, Allâh loves those who put their trust (in Him). 
 [Surah Al-Imran Ayah 159]

New Year New Yearning

I'm reassembling pieces of me now, recollecting the spirits once inflamed, to start all over again...need to get away from this comfort zone and be brave enough to be the CHANGE that I've dreamt to see in this world.

After hearing talks by IMAM (Islamic Malaysian Medical Association of Malaysia) upfronts (Prof Hatta, Dr Musa, Prof Rashid) at the 13^th  IMAM Scientific meeting, my spirit rekindled with their unfaded uplifting ideas and advice. The inputs I’ve gained (though I managed to attend one day only) were priceless. It is true that even soul need to be fed and nurtured. 

Thanks to my friend who attend the two days program and brief me on some of the inputs she gained which I missed out. Furthermore, Dr Musa, one of the well-known speaker in the program, had nicely provide some of the important key notes which were addressed at the conference:

• SEERAH - Our glorious medical legacy in the context of maqasid as-syaariah
• SYIFAA - We as instruments of His healing
• IHSAN - In search of excellence
• IQRA’ - Fostering a culture of knowledge & research
• KHIDMAT - We in the service of humanity
• SOLEH WA MUSLEH - Creation of a generation of "soleh" professionals
• ALAMIAH - Global partnerships

Maqasid as-syaariah is the 5 imperatives of Islam and need to be mainstreamed into the map of our age as modernity presently at large & choking its hegemony. As Muslim profesionals, we need to challenge the contemporary axis of power and heading for transformation towards justice. Therefore, operationalising Maqasid in the real world mandates acquiring, embracing
and acting on the following 5 V's (Dr Musa’s mnemonic):

•Visionary 

{ وَٱللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ مَا تُسِرُّونَ وَمَا تُعْلِنُونَ }

“And Allah knoweth that which ye keep hidden) of good or evil (and that which ye proclaim) of good or evil” (anNahl:19)

•Virtuous – virtues, values & morality are central
•Vocal – engaged in scientific discourse
•Visual – the new vocabulary of the global age
•Virtual – the rise of the network scientific society

Some other things mentioned by a religious speaker in the program was regarding on how one's heart can be soften: 1) sick 2) poor 3) dead. While taking care of our health, we shouldn't forget in taking good care of our heart, the main core of our human bodily function. Though it's the only human organ which has spare parts but once it spoiled, it won't recover to its original form... 

I shouldn't be dismay anymore with my lack of skill coz it's time to strive my best

I shouldn't bother what other people think of me coz I know my own limitations and capabilities

I shouldn't be afraid to voice out coz I'm adult enough to make good judgments and decisions

Sudah lama rasanya diri ini tidur 

Tidak mahu lagi bertakuk di air yang lama

Tiba masanya ke depan tanpa berundur

Semoga mimpi yang indah menjadi nyata...

It's time for a new HIJRAH in this new year of Muharram!

Striving while waiting for the call

Labbaikallahumma labbaik
Labbaika La syariikalakalabbaik

                                

It was not long before when I was one of the guest of the Holy land. Hearing the sermon all over again remind me toward my experience of umrah recently this year before Ramadhan. Altogether I wonder whether I've changed myself for the better or not. I've entered a new phase of working experience now as an MO and also in a new place. Alhamdulillah, Allah made my path easy for me so far... in few days time I'm going to start my first on call and while waiting for that call I need to strive my best and prepare myself everyday. I suppose that should be what I'm doing in preparing for hajj and off course preparing myself in meeting Allah in the hereafter. Everyday is a striving day for the better and for us to prepare while waiting for the call..the final call... InsyaAllah.

                                               

I'm sharing here a nice song by Irfan Makki on Hajj - truly an inspiration one. May the spirit of hajj always be in our heart of Muslim as to rekindle our Imaaan...

                                    
Miles away, oceans apart
Never in my sight always in my heart
The love is always there it will never die
Only growing stronger a tears rose down my eye

I am thiking all the time
When the day will come
Standing there before you
Accept this Hajj of mine

Standing in ihram, making my tawaf
Drinking blessings from your well
The challenges that I have suffered
And might rekindles my imaan

O Allah! I am waiting for the call
Praying for the day when I can be near the Kabah wall
O Allah! I am waiting for the call
Praying for the day when I can be near the Kabah wall
I feel alive and I feel strong
I can feel Islam running through my Veins
To see my Muslim brothers, their purpose all the same
Greeting one another, exalting one True Name
I truly hope one day that everyone's a Muslim.
That they remember you in everything they say

Standing in ihram making my tawaf, making my tawaf
Drinking blessings from your well
The challenges that I have suffered
And might were rekindles my imaan

O Allah! I am waiting for the call
Praying for the day when I can be near the Kabah wall
O Allah! I am waiting for the call
Praying for the day when I can be near the Kabah wall

The Road I've Taken

If u feel lost and far from home..

The only way to regain your strength is to return, though for awhile...

That's what i did since in medical school, can't believe i'm doing it again now after 2 years working as a doctor. But i'm happy to be at home again, even for few hours - to see the familiar and beloved faces, sleep on my bed, eat home food, shopping in your hometown areas. I suppose the familiarity and comforts i've gained here made me so homesick whenever i'm away from home. But i've got to sacrifice this luxury if i wanna so much to be an anaesthetist... I need to train myself to be independent and build my self esteem in new place, maybe i can focus more as being away from home. Sometimes when i'm in my low spirit, i thought of quit and left this medical profession. But after refreshing my memory in Golan Height 2 years back in Syria from a documentary in television this morning, i know that i'm on the right track. I need to continue this journey of mine to become a beneficial and competent relief worker for the suffering ummah, no matter where they are, that's my purpose of becoming a doctor in da first place. May Allah grant me with patient and persistence...ameen

Housemanship possible

1. Obstetric and Gynaecology

Started working with scream and crying
Not seeing sunlight for 10 days tagging really depressing
But got some spirit in labour room by DrV's charming

2. Paediatric

Again working with cry but with kids, got to laugh and smile
Really had tough times with DrB in most unwanted KK
Build some stamina by being in longest grand round ever

3. Orthopaedic

Enjoying my moments of leisure as housemanship
Collecting 'mangkuks' from MsA
But thanks to MrAs, having good time in OrthoPaed

4. Medicine

Learned to be independent and voice out my own opinion
Got some issues with DrS in most unwanted ward again
Being scolded and humiliated by DrS but being appreciated by DrJ

5. Anaesthesia

Working under guidance of seniors
Learning to become patient, waiting for the surgeons
Regain some weight that I've lost in medical

6. Surgical

All I can say that everyone is working in fear
The pressure is too much towards the end
But thanks to MrG for making it a happy ending for me :)

O Allah, thank You, for giving me the strength to hold on,
And now I'm FREEDOM...

So just keep holding on...Housemanship possible!

Thank You Allah, I'm blessed

It has been almost more than one year since my last entry in this blog. Maybe I was too preoccupied with my housemanship. That doesn't mean I was working endlessly but I can't deny that I've changed thruout the years, hopefully into a better doctor insyaAllah... I've decided to talk on each posting separately at the end of my housemanship later aite.


After the ups and down I faced in this life, I am gratefully thank to The Almighty for all the blessings he gave me. Maybe I ain't got all the things that I want but I'm happy to always be in acceptance and 'redha'.

There's one new song by Whitney Houston that I like to share, very inspiring and motivating. Really love the phrase "I was not built to break". Hope I'll survive this housemanship till end successfully....
Didn't Know My Own Strength 
song by Whitney Houston

Lost touch with my soul

I had no where to turn

I had no where to go

Lost sight of my dream,

Thought it would be the end of me

I thought I'd never make it through

I had no hope to hold on to

I thought I would break

I didn't know my own strength

And I crashed down, and I tumbled

But I did not crumble

I got through all the pain

I didn't know my own strength

Survived my darkest hour

My faith kept me alive

I picked myself back up

Hold my head up high

I was not built to break

I didn't know my own strength oh

Found hope in my heart,

I found the light to life

My way out of the dark

Found all that I need

Here inside of me oh

I thought I'd never find my way

I thought I'd never lift that weight

I thought I would break

I didn't know my own strength

And I crashed down, and I tumbled

But I did not crumble

I got through all the pain

I didn't know my own strength

Survived my darkest hour

My faith kept me alive

I picked myself back up

Hold my head up high

I was not built to break

I didn't know my own strength

There were so many times I

Wondered how I'd get through the night I

Thought I took all that I could take

I didn't know my own strength

And I crashed down, and I tumbled

But I did not crumble

I got through all the pain oh

I didn't know my own strength

Survived my darkest hour

My faith kept me alive

I picked myself back up

I Hold my head up high

I was not built to break

I didn't know my own strength

I was not built to break

NO NO

I got to know my own strength.

Houseman vs. Medical Student 2

Housemanship is a transition period for a fresh medical graduate in experiencing life as a medical doctor. It can be exciting, tiring and disheartening to some people. These actually are also happening to the medical students but they are different to some extent.

First is responsibility. As a medical student, I am responsible to study well in order to equip my knowledge in order to be a good doctor and bring honour to my university. But as a houseman, I am responsible mainly to my patient because now I am directly involve in their management and treating them.

Second is accountability. Medical student may be excused for not knowing certain procedures or management. But as a houseman, I am being obliged to bear the consequences for failure to perform as expected. This is because I need to be well equipped during this period of time so that I can be relied on in the future. I also need to acquire the courage to admit my mistakes, mend my ways and to forgive the wrongs of others.

Third is night duty or on calls. During my medical student’s time, I also did calls, but whatever it takes, I was still able to go back and sleep in my room. As a houseman, I need to sacrifice my night time for sleep, and allowed to be awaken in the middle of night to attend patients, regardless how sleepy and tired I am.

Fourth is practicality. Five years in medical school have taught me many things and also mentally prepare me on life as a houseman. But once I’m experiencing it then I can understand why certain housemans during my student years appeared with various of facial expressions and mood. Medical student may somehow be theoretical in their management plan but as a houseman, I learned to be more practical and sensible in the management. I still remember one of my lecturer’s advice that every patient comes to you is different, so treat them properly, even though some may have similar disease.

Last but not least is sincerity. Although I got pay as a houseman, I need to bear in mind to be sincere in my doing as to extend my hand of service to all, the rich and the poor, to friend and foe alike, regardless of race, religion or colour. As a doctor, I am only an instrument of God Mercy and responsible to exercise justice, love and compassion for all the creation. May God grant me the strength, patience and dedication to adhere to the oath which I took as a medical doctor.

Houseman vs. Medical Student

Hm, it has been quite some times since my last entry, which was before i began my housemanship, almost 4 months back. Now i'm finishing my first posting, lots of things happened throughout these 4 months, but i just ain't got the time to put many entries here, part of it coz too tired with housemanship life. Anyway, my first posting: OnG, the least posting i want to be but now I'm thankful for being here coz the risk of me floating as a medical officer here is very unlikely :)
I need to write an essay on Housemanship vs Medical Student, which is one this of compulsory requirement for all house officers before they are leaving this department. It's not a difficult essay for me though I just being a doctor officially for 4 months, but I've gained few important points here in HKL:

1. Responsibility
2. Accountability
3. Resilience
4. Maturity
5. Sincerity

As tomorrow is my working day, so i will elaborate on these 5 points after few days, of course before i submit my essay for evaluation, ahaks, just like someone will really read my essay, kwang kwang, gotta go now...

It has been quite some times...

It took almost few months since my last update in this blog. Maybe I'm too pre-occupied with my clinical days of Internal Medicine and Obstetric and Gynaecology...Many things happened actually that taught me lessons on life.

I've had this feeling of restless and tremors lately.. diagnosis? anxiety attack (possible coz Professional exam is around the corner)/ thyrotoxicosis (I'm not gaining weight instead of my good appetite)/neurological disorder (idiopathic). But then I remembered on one article I read in my e-mail on caffein and caseinated milk in 3in1 nescafe side effects twd our body system.

Casein (from Latin caseus "cheese") is the predominant phosphoprotein (αS1, αS2, β, κ) that accounts for nearly 80% of proteins in cow milk and cheese. A study of Charité Hospital in Berlin showed that adding milk to tea will block some of the normal, healthful effects that tea has in protecting against cardiovascular disease (Lorenz 2007). It does this because casein from the milk binds to the molecules in tea that cause the arteries to relax, especially a catechin molecule called EGCG. One of the researchers told New Scientist magazine that "[i]t probably also blocks tea's effect on other things, such as cancer."[5] However a similar study by Reddy et al. (2005) suggests that the addition of milk to tea does not alter the antioxidant activity in vivo[6] and the cardiovascular effect remains controversial... (source: WIKIPEDIA)

I hope I'm in a good health condition, and not having those serious illness..gotta review my diet intake, not 'belasah' je...

Eid Mubarak

Syawal… the month where Muslims are celebrating for their success of fasting and performing ‘ibadah’ during the Holy month of Ramadhan. But the phenomena in Malaysia is quite different relative to other countries (I suppose), where the celebration of Eid Mubarak will continue until the end of this month (30 days). Almost every weekend, people will busy attending or organizing open houses, visiting relatives and friends.

In a way, these practices are good in order to enhance the relationship among themselves. But the ceremony and activity should follow the ruling and teaching of Islam, including awareness on the Mu’amalat (communication) especially between opposite genders and avoid westage.

For myself, this year Syawal has it’s own special meaning and ‘mood’. Well, I’ve got to prepare for my 2nd posting exam: psychiatry. Therefore, I’m not really enjoying myself actually and preoccupied with the thought of exam BUT still, I can’t concentrate in studying while my other family members and relatives happily celebrate this month.

Hoewever, right after the exam, we managed to gather among our friends nearby and went to some of our houses for ‘raya’ visiting. It’s quite interesting, coz for almost 7 years we knew each other, this is the first time we’ve got together and went to each other houses; know each other more. This will be difficult in next year, with our tight schedule as junior housemanship.

My sister (a medical doctor) once told me that you will only know the true colors of your friend when you both will be in difficult situation. For example, friend A and B (medical doctors) were exhausted with long working hour everyday, and one day when friend A asked friend B to take over his on-call because of being sick, friend B might be refused to help and ignore his difficulties. This will up to extend of ignoring a friend who is in labor, waiting to deliver…huh, this will what happen when the friendship is not based on our strong belief to God, without strong bonding of ‘ukhuwwah’. People will only think of their own interest and ignore others.

I like to share a quotation from a very good lesson drama on drug addict in rehabilitation centre, showing their struggle to get back to the society and being functioning and humane as before:

Walaupun dugaan kita berbeza
Tapi kita dating dari arah yang sama….
((Though our challenges are different
But we are from the same direction…))

So in whatever calamities or difficulties we face in life, think back again our main purpose of life, where we come from and to where we all will return. Life is not only for the sake of living….

The Last 10 Nights of Ramadhan…

It has been quite some time for me not adding a new post in this blog. Though psychiatric posting is not as tiring as surgical posting, but I was pre-occupied most of the time with seminars, tutorials, reading and furthermore, this is The Holy month of Ramadhan, gotta spend more time in pursuing His blessings and forgiveness. Regarding my current ‘interesting’ psychiatry posting, I’ll reserve after I finished the end exam posting. Lots of things to be told.

Ramadhan indeed gives a different perception in everyone, in each year. And we always pray to Allah that this Ramadhan will be a better one, right? But it’s a common phenomena in this country, where the spirit of Syawal is more than the spirit of the last 10 nights of Ramadhan, the quest of Lailatul Qadr. There will be two nights left before the holy month ends, and let us ponder ourselves, have we really spend our days and nights well enough and collect rewards as much as possible to bring for in the hereafter? I’ve read a beautiful poem recently from my email, it was in Malay, and mentions on what if this Ramadhan is our last one….let me share the poem here as for our benefit in this life…

ANDAI INI RAMADHAN

YANG TERAKHIR

andai kau tahu ini Ramadhan terakhir
tentu siangnya engkau sibuk berzikir
tentu engkau tak akan jemu melagukan syair rindu
mendayu..merayu...kepada-NYA Tuhan yang satu
andai kau tahu ini Ramadhan terakhir
tentu sholatmu kau kerjakan di awal waktu
sholat yang dikerjakan...sungguh khusyuk lagi tawadhu'
tubuh dan qalbu...bersatu memperhamba diri
menghadap Rabbul Jalil... menangisi kecurangan janji
"innasolati wanusuki wamahyaya wamamati lillahirabbil 'alamin"
[sesungguhnya solatku, ibadahku, hidupku, dan matiku...
kuserahkan hanya kepada Allah Tuhan seru sekalian alam]

andai kau tahu ini Ramadhan terakhir
tidak akan kau sia siakan walau sesaat yang berlalu
setiap masa tak akan dibiarkan begitu saja
di setiap kesempatan juga masa yang terluang
alunan Al-Quran bakal kau dendang...bakal kau syairkan

andai kau tahu ini Ramadhan terakhir
tentu malammu engkau sibukkan dengan
bertarawih...berqiamullail...bertahajjud...
mengadu...merintih...meminta belas kasih
"sesungguhnya aku tidak layak untuk ke syurga-MU
tapi...aku juga tidak sanggup untuk ke neraka-MU"

andai kau tahu ini Ramadhan terakhir
tentu dirimu tak akan melupakan mereka yang tersayang
mari kita meriahkan Ramadhan
kita buru...kita cari...suatu malam idaman
yang lebih baik dari seribu bulan

andai kau tahu ini Ramadhan terakhir
tentu engkau bakal menyediakan batin dan zahir
mempersiap diri...rohani dan jasmani
menanti-nanti jemputan Izrail
di kiri dan kanan ...lorong-lorong redha Ar-Rahman

Duhai Ilahi....
andai ini Ramadhan terakhir buat kami
jadikanlah ia Ramadhan paling berarti...paling berseri...
menerangi kegelapan hati kami
menyeru ke jalan menuju ridho serta kasih sayangMu Ya Ilahi
semoga bakal mewarnai kehidupan kami di sana nanti

Namun teman...
tak akan ada manusia yang bakal mengetahui
apakah Ramadhan ini merupakan yang terakhir kali bagi dirinya
yang mampu bagi seorang hamba itu hanyalah
berusaha...bersedia...meminta belas-NYA

If this is our last Ramadhan, let us make it the unforgetful one, purify our soul with forigveness among ourselves and aslo from The Almighty...

Hikmah Kembara

Hikmah Kembara

Album : Hikmah Kembara
Munsyid : Mirwana
http://liriknasyid.com

Di sini kau berdiri

berpijak di bumi
menjunjung langit yang luas
Pernahkah kau berfikir
alam penuh rahsia
anugerah yang maha esa

Berjalan,bermusafirlah
melihat kebesaran tuhan
yang diciptakan untuk
mereka yang berfikir
dan bersyukur di atas nikmat
dan kurnianya
nilai harganya,iman dan taqwa
bagi hamba yang setia

Tiada beza warna,kulit atau rupa
yang ada hanya insan yang lemah
dengan satu tujuan mencari keredhaan
dan berbudi di bumi tuhan

Fikirkanlah..dimana arah kita
Renungilah..hikmah kembara
menuju kasih
buktikan cinta kita..
kepadanya..
ini kembara kita

Berjalan dan bermusafirlah
untuk melihat kebesarannya
lantas berfikir dan bersyukur
diatas nikmat dan kurnianya
nilai harganya iman dan taqwa
bagi hamba yag setia

Home Sweet Home

There’s no place like home…Even if your home is not as big as a mansion or as beautiful as those in magazines, as long as it is home, it is the place where the heart lays. For me, my home gave me a lot of memories as I grew up in this place and it has the same age as me, 24 years. Lots of change it has been underwent same as me. What make it so special is, the people inside the house: my BIG family. I think this will be the same with other people. For example, a small village house with 10 people inside will still be happy as long as they got each other and be together.

In my house, I feel secure and comfortable. I can hold myself from going outside to the city or shopping at Kuala Lumpur coz I have soldiers of the house, he…they are very reliable, yeah right. Just look at the pictures, what are they doing to make the house become the noisiest one in Lorong Mawar Putih 1. But now, they all grow up already, and going into the phase of manhood, but still acting like small kids occasionally.

There are lots of differences in the area of my house nowadays compared to when I was kid. Previously, our row will be filled with laughing and shouting of children from the neighborhood, playing ‘sukaneka’ at my house’s field every evening. But now, as most of us are grown up, the place became very busy occasionally only when wedding ceremonies are held. How I miss my childhood time. No stress no worries…

TRIP TO MELAKA (9th – 10th April 2008)

It's nice to remember the nice memories we had in life, especially during the hard time, so that we won't be gloomy and depress all the way. So let's me tell some of the nice things I had during my 4th year break...

I began my 4^th year holiday with a 2 days trip to Melaka with my friends. We were staying in a very sweet and comfortable bungalow, Sweedish and Scotland types of houses. I’ve planned to build a house like those one when I’ll have big money later J. We were swimming in the pool in front of the bungalow yards, do some presentations at night, watching fireworks (very big one and close up too) and went to Pusat Cerapan, learning more on the planets and stars. It was a very eye opening and creates conscience among us on the beautiful and structured creation of Allah s.w.t. The sky and all its contents are the evidence of The Almighty of Allah s.w.t., these will increase our knowledge in our Creator. Then why they (non-believers) are not looking at the sky above? Allah mentioned in the Qur’an:

“Do they not consider the kingdom of the heavens and the earth and whatever things Allah has created, and that may be their doom shall have drawn nigh; what announcement would they then believe in after this?” (Al-A’raaf: 185)

May we all be steadfast in the right path and given guidance by Him for a good life in this world and the Hereafter. Ameen…

Surgery Posting

I still can’t believe that I’m already a fifth year medical student. Or maybe I still can’t accept that I’m getting older and yet still unmarried and not having children? Hey, that’s not me, actually it’s true that I have this feeling of worry inside me p2eviously when looking one by one of mi friends get Married. But after attending the marriage course during my elective posting last month, I became more understand the concept of marriage and no longer have this sense of insecure or worry of ‘andalusia’. I’ve learned that good husbands are for good wives (though we may not see all, in this real world, Wallahu a’alam), and we just need to be the best to get the best, right? Phew, words are easier than act I suppose.

Alright then, enough Of this marriage matters, I don’t know why I started in this issue coz my first intention is to tell on how I felt to have the SURGERY as my first 5^th year posting. I had a bad memory and moments during my 3^rd year surgical posting I may say and I don’t think I need to recall them. Forget the bad memories and create a nice one… Well, I always afraid of the surgeon previously but I Think I may change my perception on surgeon this time, maybe I gained some maturitY during My elective posting, he. When was watching television while at home, I watched this very inspirational movie named ‘Spelling the Bee’ at astro. And I found that this poem read by the girl is very self-motivating for me, who always afraid of unnecessary things. Here is the poem and I edited some line as not agree with the original one (child → creation):

Our Greatest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a creation of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

—Marianne Williamson