Recently,
the early call for Hajj has been announced by Tabung Haji. The hajj mood has
begun, as it was only last year that I also experienced the same feeling of
anticipation and excitement. One of my friends, who was eagerly waiting for my
experience to be shared in writing, kept asking me, 'When will I post my detailed
hajj experience?' The busy work life has hindered me from doing so since I got
back home. But I think I should not delay it anymore and write as long as the
memory is still alive within me.
Performing
Hajj is one of the fundamental Muslim obligations for those who are financially
capable. Apart from fulfilling these Islamic obligations, this ritual has been
a personal priority for me, which may also be influenced by my past experiences.
Twenty-five
years ago, when I first had the chance to step into the Holy Land for the first
time with my parents and younger brother in 2000, I was initially worried about
my ability to perform ibadah, as I was experiencing irregular menses at the
time, having just reached menarche. A few days before departing, my mom brought
me to the GP and got advice on menstrual control pills. Even the doctor was sceptical
as it was very last minute, and he prescribed me a few pills, wishing me all
the best. I still remember that I was crying alone in my room and praying so
hard that I would be able to perform the umrah, if Allah wills. I kept a positive
spirit and stayed focused on my intention. I was a teenager and brought several
guidance books along to equip myself with enough preparation for the umrah,
although I had learned some basics in the Islamic Teaching subject. There was
no video or preparation class during that time, I still can recall the name of
the package: Utah Travel. I precede the Umrah ritual by visiting the Prophet's
Mosque first. Alhamdulillah, I was able to start praying after one day of
arriving in Madinah and later completed my spiritual journey accordingly. During
that time, there was still the Zamzam well near the Kaaba, which could be
accessed by pilgrims underground for ablution. I still recall my awe of the
beautiful Arab ladies when they removed their black Hijab and abaya to reveal
fancy underneath garments during the ablution process. It was not as crowded as
nowadays. I was still able to sit near the Kaaba on the stairs around it and
observe some small groups of children learning the Quran with the sheikh. My
hotel was very near the Masjid, where I even got the chance to pray inside the
mosque through Bab As Salam, even after leaving my room after the adzan
prayer. But these hotels were no longer seen since the expansion of the mosque.
One strong dua that I made during this first trip really affected my life purpose.
I asked Allah for guidance during my Tawaf, seeking to be guided and choose a
profession that would bring me closer to Him. I was in the midst of choosing my
life path at that young age, and Alhamdulillah, Allah guided me to choose
medicine as my professional path thereafter. And the journey was made easy by
Him, alhamdulillah, for everything.
Eleven
years later, when I was completing my last housemanship posting, I was asked by
my friend to join an Umrah trip with her family and friends. There was, in
fact, a significant incident that occurred before the trip. I had a slight
disaster during the surgical viva for the end-of-posting assessment (surgery
has always been my disaster since I was a medical student). The surgeon was not
satisfied with my answers during the final posting assessment and decided to
extend my surgical posting, which was my last posting during housemanship. It
was devastating, and I cried badly, feeling unworthy and uncertain about my
umrah plan. However, Allah granted a miracle and changed the surgeon's mind at
the last minute. I was able to perform the umrah peacefully. It was my first
time going alone, but I had good friends accompanying me. When you were in the
Holy Land, your mind and focus were exclusively on your ibadah. I felt a great
sense of relief to escape worldly life and reset my intention and purpose in
life, to be a good servant and seek His blessings. I prayed for steadfastness and
perseverance in the face of life's challenges. In the subsequent year, I got
married to my lifelong partner, alhamdulillah. Ironically, my life partner is a
surgeon.
Since
then, I knew that I needed to prepare for Hajj if I wanted to set foot on the
Holy Land again. Whenever Hajj season comes around and I watch the experiences
of other people, I recall my own experience in the Holy Land, and it's an
emotional spot where tears may begin to flow, a longing for being there and
experiencing it once again. Even though I have the means to perform umrah, I
keep reminding myself to save enough for the Hajj costs, which keep increasing
yearly. By Allah's will, I met the two friendly ustaz Fattah and ustazah Rohana
in Terengganu during my last family trip at the end of 2024, and I filled out
the THTS form, which I have followed up on with communication since then. 'When
your ultimate aim is akhirah, the world will follow you… 'is what I've learned
from my Hajj application. I need to wait for another 7 years for my Hajj turn,
while my husband will have to wait for many more years to come. We may never
know when our ajl will be and whether we will have the ability to endure
Hajj hardship when we are older in the next few years. That's why we've decided
to apply for the private package THTS and strive for the best that we can. Of
course, we applied the package that we can afford. However, towards the end of
the year, we received a letter from THTS requesting that we attend the
Mövenpick during the Hajj/Umrah promotion event and reconsider the package we
would like to apply. The earlier package that we chose has been mainly filled
in by the Muassasah group, who received the early call that year, and our
chance of being accepted may be minimised. So, we were offered the opportunity
to upgrade to a one level higher package, which may have resulted in a 97%
chance of success. As decided by my husband, as he was the 'Ministry of Finance',
we agreed to upgrade and strive further for budget allocation. As always stated,
as long as your intention is pure and you are seeking good wealth, Allah will
suffice you. Alhamdulillah, we managed to allocate an adequate budget for the
package, as well as for the loved ones we left behind.
However,
the process of undertaking the grand Hajj pilgrimage is not just about meeting
the monetary requirements. It was mainly preparing the heart and pure
intention. We increased our physical activities by strolling around
Putrajaya and the hilly path at my roadhouse to imagine ourselves walking
between Safwa and Marwah, at Masyair later. 'Qawwiy-ul Jism’ is
the physical strength, which is essential so that we can perform the
ibadah accordingly, and that will be at risk of communicable diseases during
the Hajj, as it involves crowded people gathering from all over the world. As
for luggage preparation, it should start early, as the journey is not a short
trip. However, I would like to advise those planning to go for Hajj not to
overdo it with their luggage preparation. I came back with lots of untouched
toiletries, accessories…as we were granted with several gifts – umbrella,
tumbler, toiletries set, blanket during the visit. We may think we need to
equip ourselves with many things, but I suggest making a list and revisiting
it to determine what is most needed. Don't feel pressured by the numerous
inputs from social media. You know what u need most for yourself. Trust me,
once you are prepared with peace of mind and heart, everything will be
sufficient and nothing to complain about.
Another
spiritual preparation is to cleanse your heart with forgiveness. During Nisf
Sya’ban, we always being reminded with this famous hadith from Mu’az bin Jabal
RA, the Prophet PBUH said:
يَطَّلِعُ
اللهُ إِلَى خَلْقِهِ فِيْ لَيْلَةِ النِّصْفِ مِنْ شَعْبَانَ فَيَغْفِرُ لِجَمِيْعِ
خَلْقِه إِلَّا لِمُشْرِكٍ أَوْ مُشَاحِنٍ
“Allah
SWT looks upon His creations on the night of nisfu Sya’ban then forgives all
His creations except the people who commit shirk and people who are hateful
towards each other.”
Sahih
Ibn Hibban (5665)
The
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) also encouraged not only forgiving those who wrong us
but also actively praying for their well-being. He showed us how to forgive,
even when it was hard. When someone hurts you, forgive them. Not for their
sake, but as a sign of gratitude to Allah. This is
in line with the broader Islamic teaching of responding to harm with kindness
and supplication for the wrongdoer. I remember last year to embrace this
concept, and five days later after the Nisf Sya’ban, I received SMS to check my
THijari application for the hajj acceptance process:
RM0
Tuan/Puan TERPILIH tunai haji musim haji 1446H/2025M. Sila semak dan muat turun
surat tawaran haji di laman web THiJARI.
Alhamdulillah…
“And
whatever of blessings and good things you have, it is from Allah.”
—
Surah AnNahl (16:53)
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